Good News, Bad Luck and How the Universe Works

Spoiler alert: Nobody knows how the universe works.

I know. You thought I was going to give you the key to the city. Sorry.

At the beginning of March, I learned that my liver lesions had decreased in size by practically 50%! This is huge! The doctors have never given me any numerical measures to hold on to when discussing my cancer. They’ve used terms like “slightly decreased” or “stable”. But a 50% reduction?!? Now that’s something I can hang my best hats on! When I got what I’m calling, “The best news in the past 2 ½ years,” I thought- Perfect! I have tons of fun planned for the near future and now I can do all of those things in a carefree, no-worries kind of way. It’ll be like buttah.

In case you were wondering, it’s not.

Complaining about my first world problems like Justin Timberlake AND P!nk both postponing their concerts that I was planning on attending, and in the same week, may seem trivial. It is. How can this even be a real issue, Brenda? People are dying. Their houses are burning down. Their children are being shot. I cannot begin to explain how many times I have scoffed that some people should, “Get a real problem to complain about,” and stop, “Being dramatic about things that don’t even matter.” These are actual quotes that have come out of my mouth. Probably in the last week. Definitely within the last month.

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But then, Justin Timberlake and P!nk postponed their concerts. Trust me, I made plenty of lemonade, but I also threw an outright temper tantrum. No joke. Then I went back to making lemonade. Because that’s what I do.

It’s so stupid. It’s also so justified.

I waffle between the weight of the world and the levity of the moment. What I mean by this is that I feel those big issues. I see Emma Gonzalez silently weeping on stage and my compassion for the pain and suffering in the world swells to a point of bursting. I marvel at her ability to also seize the moment. She can hold that pain and suffering, she can feel it and she can also recognize that THIS moment is the time to embrace action. Act now, but don’t ignore that pain and suffering. I am in awe of her strength and vulnerability.

And then I can make a joke about how these two postponed concerts mean that God must hate me. (**Note to Granny: It’s just a joke.) Can I have my tongue in cheek and my eye on the ball at the same time? I think I can.

Listen. We are all bumbling through this crazy, fucked up, beautiful world just trying to figure out how to BE.

My world is better with humor. With more love and fewer guns. With peace. With concerts. With health. With lemonade. With dance parties in a sugar shack until 11:30 PM. With Emma Gonzalez and my own temporary temper tantrum.

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Life is better when you let go of shit that weighs you down. I have a choice. I can wallow in my postponed concerts, or I can smash the ottoman and move on. It’s all about perspective and I think I’ve got a good one.

Listen, Brenda. When I say “Get a real problem,” I mean you can’t let P!nk postponing her concert get to you. It’s not personal. And even if it was, don’t make mountains out of mole hills when people’s houses are burning down. Throw your temper tantrum and get it out of your system, because Emma Gonzalez is changing the world and she doesn’t have time for your petty shit right now, Brenda.

I may not know how the universe works. But here is what I do know: Sometimes you get good news. Sometimes you have bad luck. Bad things happen to good people every day and for some reason good things happen to bad people. Life is unfair and doesn’t make sense and I’m sorry. Now. What’s next?

3 thoughts on “Good News, Bad Luck and How the Universe Works

  1. 100% Feel you on this. Our (free) housecleaning service broke my favorite coffee mug yesterday. And I’m pouty about it, but I’m also in massive scanxiety, and it caused all of my precious coffee to leak everywhere (on the freshly-cleaned kitchen). Tl;dr, frustration, or any emotion, isn’t binary. We are human. ❤

    But those liver lesions though!!!!!!!! Best news all year so far!!!!!

    Like

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