I’ve basically been walking around like a teenager in the throes of a social crisis for a week. It’s about my hair (so similar topic). Do you know how hard I have worked to get my hair to be the way it is. I mean, I can rock my bangs hardcore, but bangs are actually a lot of work. I also use them to hide my over grown eyebrows, so pinning them back on a lazy day just isn’t an option. It’s an everyday maintenance type of situation up there.
When I first talked to my kids about cancer, I didn’t call it cancer right away. I told them I have some bad cells in my body that have formed lumps and that I have to take medicine called Chemotherapy to get rid of the bad cells. I told them, the funny thing about the medicine is that it makes you sick and then your hair falls out. To which Zoey replied, “so you’re gonna get Cancer?”
Hair loss is one of those “tell-tale” signs of cancer. Once it’s gone, there is no hiding. I remember when I was pregnant and then started to notice that everyone was pregnant. I hadn’t noticed it before, but suddenly since it was happening to me I noticed every single pregnant person. It’s not the same with cancer. I scan crowds for other people who might have cancer so I can connect….Nothing. Silence.
Zoey decided I should get my hair cut first and that she wanted to go with me. I agreed. I have so much hair on and around my face. I think it’s important to start getting my kids used to the idea of not having hair on my face and my sister was in town. So on Saturday, off we went to the hair salon. The hair salon I’ve been faithfully getting my haircut in for many many years. Except that one time when I started working part-time and thought that saving money in personal care would be a good idea so I went to the O’Brien’s teaching Institute where my “stylist” waxed the skin off of my face and couldn’t quite grasp the concept of blow-drying my bangs in a way that didn’t resemble my 6th grade school photo.
Katie at Urban Salon Team has been styling me ever since my cousin Samantha, aka “Stacey Brooks” left her short career as a stylist there over 8 years ago. She has been through a few pregnancies and multiple styles. I selected a style I thought I’d like and showed it to approximately 7,000 people hoping for approval. With approvals in place, Zoey, my sister Sarah and I headed downtown for my haircut.
I was not doing well. Trying to mask my emotions for Zoey was a challenge that I failed at. Fortunately, Sarah and Zoey went to get coffees and hot chocolate right before my cut started so when Katie said, “how are you? Do you want to talk about this or should we just get to it?” her absence allowed me to burst into tears and confess, “I’m freaking out.” Katie handled it beautifully, bringing me tissues and encouraging me that this transition will be a good thing. She said that the cut will look great on me. I dried my tears and we began right as Zoey and Sarah returned.
Snip, snip, snip went the scissors. Zoey hung on my legs and arms as I stared in the mirror with tears in my eyes and a fake smile on my face. Breathing.
And then…..I know. It doesn’t look that bad. It might even be a great cut for me. But it wasn’t my choice. I was forced into this, so I’m having a hard time (hence moody teen mode). And I won’t even really have a chance to “get used to it” because it will start falling out some time this week. But it’s not terrible, so I’ve got that going for me.
Zoey was a rockstar and the photos are courtesy of my big sis, Sarah (also a rockstar). I’m having major ghost ponytail and it seems like I can see more things, including the wrinkles on my forehead (Gasp!). So sorry if I don’t take your compliments with more excitement and zest! It’s just another step in the process. And now I know, I can rock the short hair too! And that is my brightside.